LIFE IS GREAT

So far today is great. I havent updated my blog recently due to the fack that life can be a bit of a mess. I lost one of my best friends in a drug related shooting two weeks ago. I sometimes forget how painful addiction really is. I know during my madness I was disconected from reality. I never realized the affects my actions had on others. Now that I am sober thou I am well aware of my actions and of those around me. I got to watch Browns family struggle with their loss. And their loss was not getting to be close to Brown in the last 6 or so years. He was with us. His second family so to speak. I was his second family but because of the life that we choose to live most just considered us to be rejects. A blemish on our communities face. No one ever realizes that we are people too. That we hurt and love all the same. That we are no different then everyone else. We just make very poor decisions. We lash out at society and those that love us for not understanding what is is that we going thru.
Brown was my best friend in addiction and also my best friend now. He was there helping me get sober and my life straightened out less then a year ago. He wasnt a saint by far but a damn good person in general. After I got my life straight and on the road to recovery, he went back out. He tried so hard to live his life right that when he was shot and killed I was lost. I dont understand God and the things He does but I do know that had Brown not been there for me I may never have been able to obtain the life that I have now. Brown supported me when most others considered me a lost cause. He was only six months older then me but the love that he showed me surpasses those that have lived alot longer. Those that have blood ties to me couldnt even measure up to the acceptance I felt when I was with him.
I know that his struggle is over and he is home where he belongs. I still struggle with feeling lonely now that I cant talk to him everyday but its getting better. I know the agony that he was going thru is finally over and that gives me a little peace. I know that he is watching over me along with the multiple family members I have already lost to addiction. I pray that I have the strength to do what they failed to. And thats to live my life as sober as possible.